


Fire beneath the Ice

by FREAKYPUMPKIN



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, possible scenes, written before Episode 12 had aired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6852205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FREAKYPUMPKIN/pseuds/FREAKYPUMPKIN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some scenes inspired by the TV-show, not 100% fitting with the show-canon.</p><p>I will probably continue these one-shots when Season 2 gets into motion. :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought about how it would be cute if Magnus geeked out over magic and how things could have gone if Alec had actually let Magnus look at his wound in Ep9.
> 
> (Proposal? What proposal?)

“You know, you can create different layers of spells and put them on top of each other, kind of like pancakes … but less tasty of course, but this way it’s possible to conceal for example curses in healing spells. There have been- why are you looking at me like that?”

Magnus narrows his eyes questioningly at Alec his hands halting in mid-air representing said possible layers of a spell. Alec’s smile only widens. It feels good, like he is stretching muscles after sitting still for too long. 

“You probably shouldn’t mention that in front of my parents”, he remarks with a chuckle standing up from where he’d been leaning against his desk. He pulls the sleeve of his shirt back over his injured and now bandaged arm. A short stabbing pain flashes through his arm, but it’s gone within an instant. 

Magnus takes a deep breath, contemplating his words, kind of moving his hands through the air not knowing what to do with them. His eyes jump from Alec to the floor, to the desk, back to Alec keeping track of how he holds his arm carefully close to his body. “I guess you’re right”, Magnus mutters. Then the air of insecurity vanishes again and the flashy smile is back on his face, his cat eyes gleaming with mischief. Alec likes it that way, very much. “I hope I can count on your discretion about the topic?” Magnus’ voice had that flirty edge to it, that up and down of his tone that made it sound like the words were dancing. 

Alec steps closer to Magnus who still looks up at him expectantly, but as Alec gets closer there’s confusion showing more clearly on his face. Even insecurity? Alec is intrigued and when he stands right in front of Magnus the warlock has to look up at him. His gaze holding Alec’s his hands still held up, his lips slightly parted with half-thought words on his tongue. 

It’s fascinating, new and interesting. The experience of being close to him. Alec feels drunk, almost half-asleep, in a trance, soft and beautiful. With the light coming from a certain angle Magnus resembles almost a child, openly confused, but then he swallows slowly and transforms into a teenager, growing up before Alec’s eyes as he closes his lips, tilts his head a different way. His gaze becomes calmer, his shoulders loosing their surprised tension. He’s just waiting now and Alec enjoys watching him, like a cat waiting for him to move right or left.

“If I can count on you not cursing anybody?” A smirk tugs on the corners of Alec’s mouth. It tastes like spring rain and he enjoys every second of it. 

“I would say so”, Magnus whispers, their eyes never leaving each other. Alec finds that Magnus sounds so different when he’s so close, when his voice is soft like that. Is this was intimacy feels like? Absent-mindedly he raises his right hand, moving his uninjured arm. “Though I have to say that blonde guy is pushing it and-” Magnus falls silent the moment Alec’s fingers touch his skin. He draws in an audile breath when Alec’s fingertips follow the line of his jaw.

“Jace can be an idiot … sometimes you just have to ignore him.”

“Who?”

When Magnus raises his head a bit more, they are even closer. Magnus’ skin is warm, soft against Alec’s fingertips and his breath warm against Alec’s lips. Alec’s own heart is beating fast. His thoughts are dull voices in his head. Is this was intimacy feels like? Is this what it feels like to be close to somebody he wants to be close to? It’s different from hugging Izzy, it’s different from leaning against Jace. 

The first chaste touch of their lips is an electric shock running down Alec’s spine. It’s like drowning, crazy and intense and unbelievable. He towers over Magnus, but he feels weak and thin like paper. There’s a sound between them, then the kiss becomes reality and there’s warmth and Alec doesn’t care anymore. He feels like crying, but without the tears. He feels so much and nothing at all. Helplessly he tries to follow Magnus’ slow lead, moving his lips in some way while trying to keep the fire in his throat and on his skin at bay. His fingers trace the curve of Magnus’ neck and Magus’ hands find his hips. 

This is what intimacy feels like.

“We shouldn’t tell your parents about this either, I’d say.” Magnus smiles against Alec’s lips and his words dance on Alec’s tongue. 

“Agreed.”


	2. Painkiller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus gets injured and Alec treats his wound .... can pretty much be set everywhere? No idea. 
> 
> (I was in denial about the proposal when writing this one.)

“This is one of the reasons I prefer to stay out of trouble … or at least, have a long-distance relationship with said trouble”, Magnus muttered while he looked down at the ugly cut on his left forearm. The fabric of his shirt had been torn and soaked in blood. At least now, with the wound cleaned and the dried blood washed from the irritated skin surrounding it, the whole thing didn’t look quite as frightening as it had done before. 

“You’re going to survive”, Alec reassured sitting down next to Magnus with the first-aid-kit in hand. “Though you should rest your arm at least for the next few days.”

Magnus nodded absent-mindedly and then lifted his arm for Alec to take a closer look at and of course apply the bandages. “You know, in moments like these, I really envy you for your healing runes.”

Alec pulled out the utensils he needed to treat the wound. After estimating how many pads he needed, he began organizing them on his knees. “Well, I think there are also quite some shadowhunters out there who envy you for your magic.” He looked up holding out one hand for Magnus to place his arm into, his skin warm against Alec’s palm. “So I would say, we are even.” 

A cheeky grin played on Alec’s lips and for a moment Magnus’ pain subsided into the back of his mind. Alec Lightwood had a brilliant smile hidden behind that grumpy ‘older brother’-mask and that serious armor of a growing adult. Magnus felt his own lips stretching into a warm smile until it was harshly ripped off his face when the disinfectant touched his wound. He drew in a sharp breath and hissed pressing his eyes shut:  
“Yeah, I’ll keep being envious as long as this thing heals.”

“At least it doesn’t need stitches”, Alec mumbled. He hunched over a bit as he put away the pad with the disinfectant picking up the first clean pad and chewed on his lower lip. Probably he felt guilty for not warning Magnus about the possible stinging, but as the pain had yet to fully subside Magnus decided to let him feel the guilt a bit longer as well. Maybe it was also due to the fact that he couldn’t quite open his mouth again clenching his teeth in reaction to the stinging. 

-+-

Alec really regretted not warning Magnus first, but usually he patched up Jace like this and when he did that he did it refusing to draw an iratze to make Jace remember not to do again whatever he’d done. This time though it was Magnus and Alec had to patch him up like this because he the rune would cause more damage than it would help. Unfortunately now Magnus was tense as hell and more fidgety because always expected another wave of pain. Treating the wound like this would be way more difficult if he didn’t relax.

Applying light pressure with the first pad and the muscles in Magnus’ arm were ready to pull back his hand at any time. Alec tried to put down the next pad more carefully, but he got the same reaction. He looked up the warlock who had squeezed his eyes shut.   
“Don’t you dare call me sensitive”, Magnus ground out without even opening his eyes and Alec couldn’t help but grin at that. 

“I’d never do that”, he assured.   
“Yeah, and I can practically hear the shit-eating grin on your face right now”, came the instant answer, but only with a light edge. Alec chuckled, but sobered up again quickly. He had work to get done and he didn’t want to have Magnus being a wreck of nerves by the end of it … if only he could distract him long enough …

-+-

“Hey, Magnus.”   
“Hm?”  
“Come on, just look at me, I promise I won’t do anything.”

Magnus opened his eyes and was about to say ‘You’re always doing something just by being around me’ when Alec was suddenly seriously close and then talking wasn’t that important anymore.   
Magnus’ only cautiously opened eyes grew big like saucers as his brain scrambled to understand the fact that Alec was kissing him. In the end his brain gave up and whatever it had to say it wouldn’t have been possible to understand over the loud pounding of Magnus’ heart anyway. 

His lips were chapped, not quite warm, not really cold. It melted Magnus slowly from the inside out and for once it wasn’t over before he had the chance to kiss back. And he did. Searching Alec’s lips like an old friend, finding them like a long lost flame. The pain in his arm was a distant memory. He could feel dull pressure applied to it, there were fingertips cautiously brushing his torn skin. It stung, but Magnus didn’t care. Taking the moment as the only one he might ever get and as that chance he’d been waiting longer than expected for, he reached up with his uninjured hand, hooking one finger under the collar of Alec’s shirt to keep him close. 

The kiss stayed simple, on the surface where things couldn’t get too complicated. But at the same time it reached deep, creating a longing Magnus had long thought to be dead.   
Alec’s hands slowed down in their movements, but they didn’t stop. When the bandage was firmly wrapped around Magnus’ arm, Alec’s fingers came to rest on his held up palm and seemed to be quite content just being there. 

The kiss was the thing that broke next, but Magnus didn’t let him get too far away and as confused blue eyes found his, he simply whispered:   
“Oh, no, I think you still owe me for that other incident.”


	3. Broken Glass beneath my Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the agony of the arranged marriage begins ... though at this point I still thought it would be something arranged by Maryse. 
> 
> Izzy finds out and confronts Alec.

Isabelle was fuming. She pushed open the door to the living room with as much force as possible finding her brother there looking up from the table covered with pictures and files and notes and everything and nothing. Jace was also there, somewhere in the back. 

“You’re actually planning to go through with that plan?” She didn’t care who would hear her, who was around or if it was a good time to discuss these things. She wanted answers, she wanted to be mad, wanted to scream and throw things against the wall until her parents called the whole thing off. 

But most of all she wanted her brother to see what a big mistake it would be. 

“Izzy? What-”, Alec began confused and slightly irritated. He was always so controlled, his decisions etched into ice, his logic pure and sharp. It was infuriating. 

“Don’t ‘Izzy’ me.” Isabelle stormed towards the table stopping right across the from her brother, not trusting herself not to try strangling him at the moment. Her hands gripped the wooden plate tight, her heart was racing and blood pounding in her ears. “I just found out that our parents are intent on selling you off into a marriage to get back on the good side of the Clave again.” Alec’s shoulders slumped, his face melted into a softer expression like it always did, when he had to explain something serious to Max or Isabelle herself when she had been younger.   
“AND NOW I FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO DOING IT? WHAT THE HELL, ALEC!”

Jace stayed in the background, pretending to read in some dusty old book, but his eyes weren’t moving and his whole body was still like frozen water. He didn’t interfere, so he already knew. Isabelle snorted. Of course, he knew, Alec would have told him and probably made him promise not to tell anybody else. Ugh, men and their bonds. 

“Isabelle, this is not the time to discuss-” Alec tried, he really did, but Isabelle didn’t want to calm down. She wanted to explode. 

“What? Hm? That you agreed to marry some chick you don’t like or know for that matter? Why not talk about it now?”

“Who’s getting married?”, sounded an amused voice from the door. Isabelle spun around and found Magnus standing in the doorframe with three new books from the library. His shirt was dust-covered, his cat eyes shining. 

From the corner of her eye Isabelle noticed Alec’s posture stiffening. His hands curled into fist on top of the table and she could practical feel his lips turning into a thin, strict line. Isabelle knew that she shouldn’t do it, but she was blind with rage. She had always been angry at the fact that she was the younger sibling, that simply by the logic of age Alec had to shoulder so many things. She was sick of that helpless feeling. She was scared to death to see her brother’s smile fade again after that damn marriage. 

“Alec”, she finally spit out, looking back at her brother whose eyes were ready to kill her. “Because he’s such a good son and would do whatever is asked of him, whatever is needed that our dear parents stay on the good side of the Clave because that’s the kind of -”

“SHUT UP!” Alec’s voice broke every kind of sound in the room. His eyes were filled with pure fury and Isabelle was well aware that they were directed at her. She had crossed a line by telling Magnus, she knew that. But she was also glad that she had done it. Magnus was the one thing that could get Alec out of his safe little shell consisting of rules, the law and denial.   
“What exactly do you expect me to do otherwise, huh? Saying ‘no’ and then doing what? I will get stuck alone or in a loveless marriage in the future one way or another, so why not do it now when it’s actually useful. She knows that the whole thing is arranged, too. So, what is your problem?”

He was breathing heavily and Isabelle was suddenly filled with tears. Sadness colored the world blue and maybe that was how Alec saw his life. The following silence was screaming, screeching on the glass of the windows, simply everywhere. 

“It’s not like there’s anything else for me.” Whispered words that broke Isabelle’s heart and if she listened closely, she could hear the shards of another heart cracking, right behind her. But Magnus stayed silent. 

Yeah, Alec came out of his shell sometimes, but this way it also became visible how fragile his idea of happiness had become. 

Isabelle wanted to say something, wanted to say so much, but she couldn’t, stayed silent like Magnus. Though then she heard steps coming closer. Magnus stood next to her. He put the new books on top of the table, not caring if there were papers underneath or if pictures and notes got moved from their assigned places. Alec didn’t look at him, he didn’t look at Isabelle either, he just stared down that the table, his fists. The line of his shoulders was tense, stress, not enough sleep and other things. 

“So, given the right arguments …”, Magnus began in an easy tone, placing his hands on top of the dusty books. “If I would propose, would you say yes?”

In the background Jace dropped the book he’d been ‘reading’.


	4. Snowflakes in Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another way of Magnus finding out about the arranged marriage. Alec tells him. This time they are alone.
> 
> Keep in mind, that I still thought Maryse had arranged the whole thing at this point.

“I’m engaged.”

Two words, maybe three if Magnus squinted hard enough. But he didn’t squint, he stared, his cat eyes wide and round and drowning in cyan-colored pain and ultramarine regret. He was a warlock, he should know, should fear the power words could hold, yet they always hit him in the most unexpected ways. He should have known, should have been faster, should have kissed away those words - any words from Alec’s lips. 

“What do you mean ‘you are engaged’?”

Magnus stayed close, needed to stay close because now with these words hanging between them he might never get closer than that. He would only have to lift his hand to trace Alec’s jawline. If he just leaned in a bit, he could steal that kiss he had hoped for from the beginning. He could just do it, force his way into the stillness surrounding Alec like a fortress, but then it would shatter and cut them both. 

“You heard me … I meant what I said.” Alec’s voice was warm air brushing Magnus’ face and there was a smile on his lips which tasted bittersweet. 

“I know … you always do that.”

Alec hadn’t moved away either. Their foreheads were almost touching and Magnus almost felt like screaming. Then Alec bit his lip and looked away and the moment broke.   
Taking a deep breath he stepped away, not too far - Magnus could just reach out and pull him back into their own little bubble. 

“It-it’s arranged by my parents, you know, to get back on the good side of the Clave, I think - or maybe it’s something else after all, I don’t know anymore, and I didn’t know about it until yesterday - I had … I had no idea about it when … when I met you.”  
Blue eyes were screaming. The whole room was filled with silent apologies, with heavy heartbeats in every corner. Magnus wanted to silence them all.  
“I want to say ‘no’ because my heart hurts so much, but if I do, it’s going to be - to hurt as well, just in a different way … it always hurts …,” Alec whispered with desperate tears shining in those eyes that Magnus never wanted to see crying again.   
“I’m going to loose either way, I’m always going to disappoint some-”

A kiss always brought silence. 

Magnus reached out and pulled Alec back in, tasted the frantic heartbeat on the other’s lips, on the tip of his tongue. His skin was warm, his lips were chapped because the nights had gotten colder lately. Magnus found that soft laughter that Alec so rarely let out when he traced the lines of Alec’s throat, stopping at the collar of the faded sweater he was wearing once again. 

God, what was it about those awful sweaters that always made Magnus smile?

Alec’s hands found Magnus’ waist the moment the warlock swallowed the nephilim’s gasp as their tongues touched. It tasted like snowflakes. 

It was winter around them. The one season with the power to stop the world from spinning even if just for a bit. Winter could stop time and make heartbeats visible in little white, puffy clouds. It was cold, but everything became so clear when cut into ice. For a few weeks each year everything was clear as glass. 

“You’re missing out,” Magnus muttered against Alec’s lips. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, to accept that this was the only kiss he’d ever get. 

Since when had a simple kiss become that important to him anyway?

It was a hopeless attempt at humor, that last try to laugh away tears, and the words were rough on Magnus’ own lips. Alec understood him and the tear-soaked chuckle he gave in response was the spring rain that brought a cruel end to every winter every year. 

“I’m not stupid, Magnus … I already know that.”

This time Magnus was pulled into the kiss, a second one that brought every remaining border between them crashing down.


	5. Worth the Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izzy tries one last time to put a hold to the wedding.

“My brother’s getting married today.”

Isabelle’s voice was thin, filled with shards of broken glass, the words coming out flat and sounding far away. She was breathing heavily, but Magnus doubted it was because she’d been running to his place. Shadowhunters didn’t get out of breath because of something simple like that. No, her body was trying to hold back the words she wanted to say, that were on her tongue, fighting to be the first, but this way they wouldn’t make sense. Isabelle had to fight herself to keep them in order, to keep herself from falling apart.

“I know.” Magnus had tried so hard to forget it, to forget everything, forget that smile, that laugh, those eyes, the glare, the disbelieving chuckle, it was too much to forget, too much that he actually wanted to keep. He had wanted to throw things against the wall of his apartment, but in the end he’d just stood there staring at the wall, breathing heavily like Isabelle now because his chest had been heavy with emotions he couldn’t get rid of. 

“Get him away from that altar.”

Isabelle’s hands began shaking, her voice as well. She wanted to scream, but she didn’t because she knew it wouldn’t get her anywhere, wouldn’t change anything. Magnus looked at her with honest surprise. “What?”

“Get him away from that altar.” There was more force, more desperation, some tears that tainted the words, blurred their lines and made them clearer at the same time. “I tried everything. I couldn’t convince him to walk away, so now I am here asking you to do it.”

“Isabelle, I can’t-”

“YES YOU CAN!” Tears broke free, but they were filled with rage. “I’m sick of hearing this! You can drag him away the same way he could walk away himself, the same way may parents could call the whole thing off, everybody can do this, but nobody does anything! I would lock him away somewhere if it would change anything, but it wouldn’t …” The rage broke and gave space to sadness mixed with desperation. “… the wedding would just be postponed. He needs a reason to say ‘no’, to walk away-”

Magnus felt his own heart constrict while she spoke, loosing herself in her own words, her eyes falling to the floor, crawling across the walls. 

“Isabelle, this isn’t about-” There was that helplessness in his own voice and he hated it.

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT POLITICS!" 

Now the walls broke, everything just fell to pieces. 

"FOR ME THIS IS ABOUT MY BROTHER BEING HAPPY, ABOUT HIM LAUGHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID JOKES, ABOUT HIM SMILING MORE OFTEN SINCE HE MET YOU.” Hot streams of tears fell down Isabelle’s cheeks as she stood there before Magnus falling apart with pride. She wasn’t ashamed of her tears. She wore them like an armor and maybe they were one. Swallowing heavily she continued, not screaming anymore, her words filled with a controlled silence that was sharp like a razor. “Call me immature and short-sighted if you want to, I don’t care. I’ve seen my parents being stuck in a loveless marriage for so long, I’ve seen them crying, I’ve heard them yelling at each other … I want my brother to be happy and I think you are the one he’d walk away from that altar for. You are the one that made him smile and laugh like he hasn’t for so long.”

Magnus couldn’t remember if he’d ever felt so much tension tearing at him. Everything was yanking him into the same direction and he was wondering what actually was still holding him back. In the end it was easy. It was the rational part of his brain, the part that had reminded him of the rules he’d made for himself. He had more or less tried to stay clear of the nephilim for the past centuries, that plan had gone to hell the moment he’d helped Jocelyn Fairchild, the moment he’d offered Clary Fray his help. Valentine was after him and the last thing he should do right now was bringing the Clave up against him, the family leading the New York Institute as well. No, he really shouldn’t do it.

“It’s going to cause a mess.” The words were half-formed thoughts, spoken to soon, spoken too loudly. 

“I know”, Isabelle whispered, her eyes unforgiving about his doubts. “And this is the moment you have to decide if Alec’s worth it.”

Magnus looked up at her. In the end it was an easy decision.


	6. Between the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding gets cancelled.

Alec didn’t really know what to say, how to say it. He had tried different combination of words a hundred times in his head. He had written letters that had ended up in the fire. 

He had burned his fingers. They were covered in paper cuts, desperate cries from words never meant to be said. He wasn’t supposed to do, what he wanted to do, what he was about to do. 

And maybe he didn’t need that many words after all. 

After all, when Lydia opened the door of her guest room, she just looked at him and Alec didn’t want to spend time thinking about what she saw. He saw a smile after some moments heavy silence. Lydia had a beautiful smile, bright and honest. Magnus had mentioned that the smile of a person revealed their heart much more than the eyes. 

“I’m sorry”, Alec whispered. 

Lydia still smiled. “It’s okay.” 

They didn’t hug, they didn’t have a deep conversation about the matter. It was done without all those - after all - meaningless words that Alec had already burned or thrown into the garbage can in his room. The paper cuts on his fingertips didn’t burn that much anymore.

-+-

Magnus was breathing heavily when he reached the church. The wind cut into his skin, he’d forgotten to take a scarf with him. 

This was the day. This was the place. This was the time. 

He had planned to stay at home and be miserable. He had ignored the angry calls from Isabelle. He had wanted to shut out the screaming of the whole world. In the end nothing had worked. He had wanted to see it with his own eyes. Feel the pain once and then get drunk for no other reason than another broken heart.

Maybe he could even say something. Use that last chance to throw in his thoughts about the whole wedding, to try and safe his own heart one last time.

The doors of the church were closed, the place in front of it eerily empty. Nothing but wind and loose leaves. Cold air and whispering silence. Alec sat on the stairs that lead up to the entrance. He had his long legs stretched out in front of him. His hands were calmly folded in his lap. His eyes found Magnus standing right in front of the staircase, looking lost in a whirlwind of emotions. 

“Hey”, Alec said. He smiled. He didn’t wear a suit. He wore his dark pants, one of his faded sweaters underneath the jacket with those many pockets. Next to him lay his bow and the quiver with some arrows. 

Everything about him was calm. He was the center of his own storm, not moving an inch. 

Magnus felt himself calm down as he stood there. He wasn’t cold anymore despite forgetting to take a jacket with him as well. Suddenly he was warm, felt warm for the first time in these past days of agony. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t because it would look stupid. And after all, maybe he didn’t have to cry. Maybe standing there and looking at that smile, at the man that held power in his hands like Magnus had never seen it before. 

He was beautiful. 

“Hey”, Magnus answered. 

He could have made a portal, but he’d forgotten about it. He could have stayed home, but he hadn’t been able to stand by this time. He could just moved on and forget about this shadowhunters, but it hadn’t been possible for him. 

Alec knew that.  
Magnus knew that.   
Alec’s smile only brightened and Magnus felt his own lips curving as well.

No words were needed.


End file.
